The worst thing you can do to a Telemarketer is to talk to them. Or so I thought. Maybe the worst thing you can do to a Telemarketer is let your robo talk to them. After all, they call you with their computers, so it’s only fair to let them talk to your computer. That’s where ‘Hello, This Is Lenny’ comes in. ‘Lenny’ is a set of scripts originally used on an Asterisk-based Voice-Over-IP system. You can transfer the call to the extension using these scripts, or have the dialplan automatically route to Lenny’s extension.
Here’s an example of Lenny, with one of it’s record-holding Torments of a Telemarketer (26 minutes):
Here’s a playlist of ‘Hello, This Is Lenny‘ videos.
What’s so awesome about this, is the scripts are pretty well arranged to mimic or sidetrack the Telemarketer off the basic scripts and the call is practically directed by Lenny, rather than the Telemarketer. As suggested in the Tormenting Telemarketers Joke, side-tracking the Telemarketer is part of how you can extend your talk time with them. And this is Pure Automated Tormenting Genius. There’s two great longer-winded monologues that the Telemarketer gets to listen to, one about his daughter Larrissa (We’re quite proud of her, too) and the flock of ducks that require Lenny to excuse himself while the Telemarketer waits.
Audio files and scripts for are freely available, and you can use them to set up your own ‘Hello, This Is Lenny’ honeypot for Telemarketers. One archive, using FreeSwitch (another VoIP PBX) is located on Lorne Gaetz’ Github Account. The more the merrier!
(Image from the toao.net Youtube Channel)